Okay ladies-so we all know what’s like to be in relationships where it’s not always easy. In fact, some can be so downright challenging at times that we have either given up or at least swear it’s time to throw in the towel (or throw it AT him!) and walk away.

PowOver here at Empowered Women’s headquarters, a common subject we love to talk about is how to have better relationships and to really learn how to pick our battles when it comes to the people we love in life. At the end of the day just what are the things worth fighting over? Also, what are the insignificant issues that we blow up to unreal proportions that just don’t matter and only cause division and strife? We probably all know people (ourselves included) who have ended relationships over issues that sadly we can’t even recall anymore, yet they seemed so huge at the time.

Kate Stellman from the channel works alongside her husband Justin at Extreme Health Radio day in and day out. They spend almost everyday together in a small space and somehow seem to pretty much enjoy their home/work life mingling together without seeming to want to kill each other (very often, that is:) Talking to Kate over here at the channel about her own secrets to picking the right battles and letting the others die, this is what she had to offer:

Treat him like he’s dead

Although it sounds a bit disturbing, there was insight in this sentence as she went on to explain her bold statement. In her experience in her marriage to Justin, during the beginnings of an argument she found herself asking “What if  he was already dead and I could magically get ONE more day/moment back with him? Is this how I’d spend my precious extra time with him? Fighting over silly X, Y, Z?” She explained how it made her step back and reassess the severity of the issue as well as remind her of the immense love she had for him, and also served as a powerful reminder that if she had lost him that nothing would matter but getting more time back. This very little (although possibly seemingly silly to some) exercise had kept many a simmering dispute to a minimum and  taken the steam out of what had serious potential to turn into a full blown knock -down-drag-out.

So maybe we can all step back and take inventory of what really matters when it comes to picking our battles-and make it just that. Pick the huge things that you really need to get off your chest and set out to work through them to provide healing, while striving  to leave the not so important ones on the shelf.  Not only in our romantic relationships-let’s also step back to look at the issues that come up with friends, family and neighbors. What if we treated them all like they were gone and truly missed? We have a feeling a lot more grace and mercy would be shown, and love would override many of the potential dramas that get us nowhere.