One thing that saddens me is to see a woman minus her vivaciousness because of her self-doubt. No matter what she wears, regardless of the makeup she puts on, she can’t hide the self-doubt and it hangs about like a bad stench. The eau de toilette self-doubt is not a nice smell; I’ve had to wear it on a few occasions and I know it can linger. Self-doubt is a one way street, it dulls your sparkle and robs you of being in your own power, as you second and third guess yourself through life (in some cases, I’ve found myself fourth and fifth guessing). My series of the ‘7 deadly sins of self-doubt’ I will take you on a journey so you can uncover the powerful, confident femi-fierce woman that you are! [divider]
Worrying yourself into Fearville!
“Worrying is much like sitting in a rocking chair it gives you something to do but gets you nowhere fast.” Fear stops you thinking logically and in most cases, leaves you like a deer frozen and unable to act, unable to move. Worrying is a disconnector; once it shows up, you get cut off from you. You know, that you who is connected to the source of all your creativity. Oh boy! Worry keeps you away from your incredible inner child, the one who looks for the easiest, most joyous way to handle the task ahead; it steals your clarity, your ability to see and even think, let alone complete any tasks. You can officially give up on trying to get a decent night’s sleep when you are in the worry zone. A good night’s sleep is packed up in your worry case along with your clarity and your magically awesome self. It becomes a downward spiral as a lack of sleep is the number one root cause of chronic disease in the western world and women are at the top of that list of sufferers.
I must not fear
This sin is so insidious because it has the ability to morph from worry into fear, like a deranged Power Ranger. Once you become a resident of Fearville (population many); it’s like there is no way out. The thing you were worrying about shifts from a little hump to the size of Mt Vesuvius and, literally, your world comes crashing down as you envision the worst possible scenario. Example: after a slight disagreement with your boss, you see yourself being hurdled up in front of a disciplinary hearing leading to your dismissal. You see yourself never, ever being able to connect with your clients to make your business venture successful. Ask yourself: What are you afraid on in Fearville? What’s stopping you?
[divider] Find a song that helps you to breathe
When I hear Erykah Badu singing Bag Lady—“Bag lady you gone hurt your back dragging all them bags like that” this gets me to stop and breathe. When we worry we are all in our heads with everything going on and our breathing gets shallow and we forget to use the full capacity of our lungs; our thinking continues to get funkier and funkier as we slowly head on down to Fearville. So give yourself permission to get some air; take a quick five minute walk around the block and breathe.
Two heads are better than one
Find a trusted friend to help you unpack your worry. That’s what girlfriends are for, to help give you a different perspective, to look out for you and offer you support when you can’t figure it out yourself. If you can’t get hold of a friend in that moment, then get out your pen or phone and start getting your thoughts out, so you can get your internal gauge working.
The voices in your head
When you worry, there are voices going off in your head, most of us have been programmed to avoid confronting these voices and instead go into stress mode to avoid dealing with the issue. But what if you took a moment to confront these voices and their whispering stories? The easiest way is to ask yourself: Three months from now will it still matter? What about 6 months or 1 year from now? What is the best thing that could happen? Instead of fear and worry invite positive amazing changes into your world, by having the courage to go for what you desire!