I’am Lillian Ogbogoh a Sensuality Discovery Specialist I work with amazing women who are single, celibate and unhappy with it to turbo charge their magnetism to attract and keep the man they desire. By reconnecting them to their deeply powerful and sensuous sides without shame, baggages and false information on their road owning their empowered sex life.

Looking through the ‘not enoughness’ mirror

This sin is high up there as one of the cardinal sins of self-doubt. You see yourself through a screwy mirror where all you see is what you don’t have, along with what you should have and should have done and why you are not enough. You even hide the mountain of vast experiences and numerous skills that you have acquired on your life journey.

This sin is like having a mean and cruel version of the enchanted mirror from Snow White, so instead of revealing the fairest in the land, it continually shows you as the ugly step sister who smells and pulls the wings off butterflies. This warped mirror reflects your flaws and insecurities around who you feel you are when you show up in the world.

When you look at yourself all you see is the you who is not enough. The you that you feel is lacking in some way- the you who feels incapable and sends you running from pillar to post looking for something- anything- to make that feeling go away. The search continues on, looking for that perfect patch to make that hole that only you can see go away.

Who’s the fairest in the land?

For some it’s chasing qualification after qualification, to validate your knowledge and sense of self worth, so you feel like you are deserving of the money you are paid by your employer or clients. For others, it’s looking for someone to validate who they are, so their sense of worth is determined by how others see them.  They will not stop short of anything to maintain their fix of validation- feeding the’ not enoughness’.

faceIn the same way the step mother from Snow White constantly asks the mirror “Who’s the fairest in the land?” to cover up feeling inadequate, we constantly question who we are and whether we are good enough. Oh this sin is high up there among the cardinal sins of self-doubt as it’s self-inflicted and the only cure lies within, but this can’t be done with a faulty lens on as all you see is the not enoughness, in the same way a person with anorexia sees themselves as fat. This not enoughness causes you to look at others in your business environment and see what they have done or haven’t done, which again leads you to an inadequate and a diminished version of yourself.  Don’t get me started on the personal arena, as we compare our lives with others only to have their lives become a yard stick for measuring our lives without knowing their back story.

Giving up on the sin of not enoughness: two parts

The first part requires you to change the looking glass. We are so programmed to look at the gaps and void within us rather than the greatness of us. So it’s time for an amazing self-audit for the next week; take one day to list three things about you that are amazing. You can do this in the morning or evening. If you are finding it hard to list three things, get a trusted friend or someone in your family to help see you for the amazing human being that you are.

Changing the focus on what we normally shine the light on changes how you see yourself. The law of attraction states that what you focus on is what you will attract, so if you see yourself as not being enough you will attract more situations into your life that will reaffirm that opinion.

“The man who thinks he can and the man who thinks he can’t are both right” ~ Henry Ford

The next step is often an overlooked, undervalued action. I’m talking about celebrating you! All of the little thing- and the big things- that make you a unique, amazing woman!

Some of us are so used to the self-flagellation approach to living, where you rip chunks out of yourself constantly with your beliefs that you are not enough. So take a deep breath in and say, “I am enough and amazing!” and celebrate that fact as often as possible.